Monday recap

* commit more thought to paper/e-paper.

* spinning, if time permits

* movie with Kai

* read one more chapter of "The Art and Science of Teaching"

* think positive thoughts. be strong. don't over-think. don't over-analyze.

Yup. You saw it right. After writing until 4:44 a.m. last night/this morning, I woke up at 9 all on my own (trust me. I am NOT OK with this.). That means I only got four hours of sleep.

Today was hard. Combined with the lack of sleep, I kept feeling this strange fainting/dizzy sensation like when I did when I was a kid. It's almost a sensation of almost-blackout/fainting. It's a little clammy on the arms, the cheeks and down my back. This happened during the movie ("Julie and Julia") with Kai and when I was sitting down in front of the desk or on the couch watching CSI.

"Julie and Julia" wasn't that great, I thought. Julie Powell was annoying, and Meryl Streep overdid the accent. It was also a bit long.

I tried to be strong today. I spent way less time worrying and waiting for the phone to ring because I know that it will not. The setting of "Julie and Julia" made me incredibly sad, though, and I was kinda in a funk after the movie. I talked to James about the situation and had a cathartic, good (SMALL) cry. Real tears. If you know me, you know that I DO NOT CRY. So this is big. It was great to let out the bottled up emotions and to just let it go. When was the last time I cried? James claims it was the the last DT banquet. Really?!

Today, I begin the process of letting go. Talking to Kai really helped me gain perspective. This is not the end of the road. I will be strong.