the elite University of South Carolina Graduate School of Fun Park Buracracy

Look. I have nothing against the University of South Carolina. It's a good school. But right now, I really want to go knock on the office of admissions and tell them to go screw themselves and their ridiculous buracracy.

It took me a good while to figure out how to apply to their grad school in education.

It took me even longer to find the general graduate school application.

Somewhere, somehow, it says educations apps are due Jan. 5.

I tell my profs that SC letters need to be in by Jan. 5.

I now cannot find where I saw that it is due Jan. 5.

Because it is now telling me -- in no specific terms, just on the supplemental application -- that it is due March 1 for the summer term.

Because on the general grad school application, they're due April 1 for the summer term.

I want to apply to the Secondary Education -- Master's in Teaching program.

I have the supplemental form for it -- now. It took me until AFTER I submitted the general app
for the wrong term to find it.

When I went back to reapply for the general application, Secondary MAT is not a degree option in the scroll down menu.

But Secondary in MT is, but apparently it is for USC-Columbia students, of which I am not.

Problem No. 2 with my original application.

They also ask for immunization proof before they will process your application. Who does that?! What, afraid that measles will spread via paper?

So I will need to somehow make this work because believe it or not, if nobody else wants me for grad school, which is a high possibility and I am not being modest here, then I will seriously consider SC.

It shouldn't be a riddle to figure out how to even APPLY to the school. You want competition? Make it easier for people to join the pool.

If you know people at USC grad school admissions, please kindly tell them to go screw themselves.

Oh, and please get me out of this house before I kill myself. Being in this town is bad enough; having to live in this house is worse than death by strangulation.

Sorry. Too much Law & Order: SVU marathon.