just fucking great

My mother likes to ask me when I went to sleep the night before. I always adjust it about 2 hours earlier so it's less horrid to her sensitivities.

If you can't tell, I just hung up on the phone with her. Let me tell you that it is currently 12:16 AM Pacific, which mean's it's 3:16 AM Eastern. So you tell me whether I should've been the bitch and asked her what time it was over there right then and whether she's still sitting in front of the computer reading Taiwanese newspapers and not sleeping and probably bored and pissed that she's called numerous times and didn't believe me when I just called her back and told her that I didn't get her calls because my phone was on silent because I was TAKING A FIVE-HOUR TEST that she was perfectly aware of for MONTHS because she kept bugging about STUDYING for the fucking thing.

Fine. It's OK. Don't believe me. It's OK. You're gonna be pissed off at me anyways, like I knew you would because I refused to tell you -- AS I HAVE SINCE HIGH SCHOOL WHEN I STARTED TAKING THE SATs THREE TIMES -- that I can't tell you how I did on the CSET because bad things usually happen whether I predict success or failure.

Oh, no. Go ahead and press for an answer. I'm sure you'll find a way to blame for me it anyway or find a way to make yourself feel better that you nagged me to study for a profession that YOU REFUSED TO ALLOW ME TO ENTER until IT WAS TOO LATE to do anything about it at the college level. AND UNTIL YOU FOUND OUT THAT IT PAID ACTUAL LIVING WAGES.

Oh, yeah. And when you realized that my profession that I chose as a second choice that is now my first also doesn't pay as much as you would like.

Does is make you happier for me that I made more money than your friends' kids?

I'm sorry that I don't know math. I'm sorry I never understood chemistry. I'm sorry I have no desire to go to law school. I'm sorry I possess the skills that allow me to toil in obscurity and that will never let me afford to own mansions or high-end cars.

For your information, I AM happy with my life right now. I am doing what I love to do. I have a future. It's OK. Don't you worry about what my husband in the nowhere future is going to think. Because I'm not going to get married. I told you that when I was SIXTEEN. I have not changed my mind. Don't wait for a grandkid from me. At least not biologically. You can wait as long as you want.

I am physically incapable of going to sleep before midnight. I have NEVER been able to on my own accord. I would just lie there think roll around and be bored and be wasting time.

ALL my friends and EVERYONE my age that I know of goes to sleep late.

It doesn't bother me that I work until the wee hours of the night. I can't function that early.

I'm not pissed at the world. I'm pissed that you always call to pick a fucking fight.

Yeah. I smile a lot. When I want to. I also laugh. A lot.

Getting arbitrarily lectured and nagged is not something I prefer to laugh or smile about. I recall one time when I did, and you used the good ole reliable.

It's OK, though, I'm used to it. I'm 22.