Cafe Algiers

Last night, Kai and I went to try Cafe Algiers, this quiet little Middle Eastern coffeehouse/cafe in Harvard Square. I got the fried eggplant sandwich with summac. It was hearty, the pita was freshly grilled and, even though the insides kept squishing out, the salad/eggplant combo was awesome. The server was also super attentive and friendly. I wanna go back there soon! Don't remember the last I had Middle Eastern food ... years?

summer workshop Day 1

OK. After getting access to my class rosters LATE last night, I got excited/scared/freaked out with the prospect of returning to school. Mostly, it's excited/anxious, especially the latter when I realize how little I have actually done to prepare for the new school year. Guess it's a bad idea to waste the summer by pretending to do work, huh? Should've definitely started this whole to-do list thing with Christina way earlier. It would also save a lot of emotional turmoil. Grrrr.

In any case, the rational me is almost completely back. I would say 90 percent. I have almost achieved inner closure, if not face-to-face closure, and am in a much more stable frame of mind. That doesn't mean, though, that bad thoughts sometimes come into my head. But that's off the record, right, James?

Today, for the first time since June 25, I woke up to two alarms, set 15 minutes apart, and snoozed for 30 minutes. It was NOT a pleasant experience even though I've been harping about how I want to go back to school. And the workshop today started at 9! I only had to wake up at 7:30 a.m. at the latest. I am pretty sure I will NOT be OK with my 5:30 a.m. wakeup calls in a week and a half.

Day 1 of the summer workshop was a little jarring. I went from no education-speak for two weeks and am now suddenly thrust into world of philosophical discussions over the merit of posting homework assignments online and the pros and cons in using the point system versus the percentage system in calculating homework grades. That is just 45 minutes of the five-hour workshop and does not include discussions over common curriculum and skills students should acquire by the time they end their freshman year.

Finally met my English partner today! Nobody even told me of his hire or presence or anything. Is this how it goes for the second year? I only knew because I walked in and saw a new person and deduced that he must be the new English teacher and therefore must be my new partner.

Did not write as therapy today. Rather, looked into entering another profession altogether. A profession that I have absolutely no chance in getting into and, the more I read, little chance of being successful at.

Tomorrow is another day! Hopefully one with no irrational thoughts so I can put this chapter of my life behind me and put it in the "life experiences" column. Maybe I will even roll my eyes and laugh in a few months ... yeah, more like a few years. It has been a bittersweet summer, to say the least.

Wednesday

I lapsed! No list for Wednesday, but I pretty much parked myself at the Harvard Coop again and wrote for a good three total hours. This is not including the two hours (no joke) I spent just staring off into space, lost in random thoughts. And the hour finishing reading the book. First thing this morning, though, I trekked to Government Center/Downtown Crossing to a coffee shop with wifi (because seriously, I need my daytime access to Internet even though I'm going to be lost in my thoughts), but there were no outlets! I'm going to echo Christina's post here -- but what is the point of providing free wifi if the place doesn't have electrical outlets? It certainly is NOT because of crowd control because there was literally five people in the cavern of a sandwich cafe. So off to Harvard I go. I would use the free Harvard Square wifi, but the wimp in me would prefer to have no Internet in an air-conditioned cafe than to have Internet and die of heat stroke.

Major improvement Wednesday, though. I might have made a breakthrough. :D I think I am definitely gaining some perspective ... maybe it's also because I am SO psyched about school starting again?

Whitney, Dave, Tom and I did trivia again Wednesday night with Dave's friend Justin. We came in fourth place! Our group's highest finish yet. :) It's good not to be holed up with one's thoughts too long.

I am grateful for supportive friends. Love you guys!

Tuesday

To do:

* continue with positive thoughts. be strong. You can do it.

* commit thoughts to paper/e-paper by going to the library or someplace quiet to type.

* movie with Whitney!

* finish reading required chapters in "The Art and Science of Teaching"

* Netflix

***

Positive thoughts. Be strong. Easier said than done, but I'm making strides. If I actively seek to do things that will occupy my thoughts, I find that I am less melancholy.

Committing thoughts to paper. I went to the Harvard Coop and wrote quite a bit. It's therapeutic to write things down in a concrete manner. It also gives me some perspective and, hopefully in the future, some emotional distance.

Movie with Whitney. We went to see "Ponyo" at the Boston Common theater. It was cute! I went in knowing very little about it and was glad to see it. It was a matinee, so there were plenty of parents with kids. A good experience! Whitney and I then walked over to Downtown Crossing for a late lunch and talk. I thought I should explain why I was a little distracted at trivia last week. Was relieved that she understood and listened to my story. :)

Reading the last chapter of "The Art and Science of Teaching" did not happen. I was too preoccupied with staring off into space and writing to be focused enough to take words IN.

Monday recap

* commit more thought to paper/e-paper.

* spinning, if time permits

* movie with Kai

* read one more chapter of "The Art and Science of Teaching"

* think positive thoughts. be strong. don't over-think. don't over-analyze.

Yup. You saw it right. After writing until 4:44 a.m. last night/this morning, I woke up at 9 all on my own (trust me. I am NOT OK with this.). That means I only got four hours of sleep.

Today was hard. Combined with the lack of sleep, I kept feeling this strange fainting/dizzy sensation like when I did when I was a kid. It's almost a sensation of almost-blackout/fainting. It's a little clammy on the arms, the cheeks and down my back. This happened during the movie ("Julie and Julia") with Kai and when I was sitting down in front of the desk or on the couch watching CSI.

"Julie and Julia" wasn't that great, I thought. Julie Powell was annoying, and Meryl Streep overdid the accent. It was also a bit long.

I tried to be strong today. I spent way less time worrying and waiting for the phone to ring because I know that it will not. The setting of "Julie and Julia" made me incredibly sad, though, and I was kinda in a funk after the movie. I talked to James about the situation and had a cathartic, good (SMALL) cry. Real tears. If you know me, you know that I DO NOT CRY. So this is big. It was great to let out the bottled up emotions and to just let it go. When was the last time I cried? James claims it was the the last DT banquet. Really?!

Today, I begin the process of letting go. Talking to Kai really helped me gain perspective. This is not the end of the road. I will be strong.

Monday's list!

It's been a week since J. Christina and I started this thing!

for Monday:

* commit more thought to paper/e-paper.

* spinning, if time permits

* movie with Kai

* read one more chapter of "The Art and Science of Teaching"

* think positive thoughts. be strong. don't over-think. don't over-analyze.

weekend recap

* cello, for crying out loud

* yoga (optional, because, again, last Saturday and Sunday's sessions were both pretty unfulfilling)

* read two chapters in "The Art and Science of Teaching" to prep for the summer workshop on Thursday and Friday

* sweep and mop the room

* commit thoughts to paper/e-paper :)

Cello. Clearly, it is still sitting on the dining table, waiting for action on my part.

Yoga. I went on to Sunday's session because I wasn't feeling Saturday's teacher. So no gym on Saturday. The teacher today was quirky. Talkative, funny. Good about adjusting positions. Tried to get us to do with this crazy handstand move. THAT did not happen.

I read THREE chapters of "The Art and Science of Teaching." Three more to go!

I did not clean. It is too hot to clean!

Commit thoughts to paper/e-paper. I just finished doing that with tonight's dinner. It was cathartic, and I'm in a much better place, mentally. What I wrote tonight took about three hours. I have a feeling that the other thoughts-on-paper will not be so thorough because the memory is not as fresh. But at least I feel a release. :) Thanks, Kevin!

I also saw "(500) Days of Summer" tonight in a bid to leave to apartment and do something so I'm not so bored all the time. I liked the movie. It's not as lovey dovey as I expected it to be, and I'm glad. I think it portrays love as close to reality as a movie can. The ending was cute.

Saturday (and Sunday?) list

This list might be applicable for the whole weekend.

* cello, for crying out loud

* yoga (optional, because, again, last Saturday and Sunday's sessions were both pretty unfulfilling)

* read two chapters in "The Art and Science of Teaching" to prep for the summer workshop on Thursday and Friday

* sweep and mop the room

* commit thoughts to paper/e-paper :)

We'll see how we do!

Thursday/Friday

Thursday/Friday recap:

* think positive thoughts!

* cello! I need to play "May Song" at least three times through and not just half-assed. Actually play it to make it better. The slurring and the bowings are really hard, but seriously, must rise to the occasion.

* gym

*rubric (sigh)

I DID think positive thoughts for a good stretch there. So it's a partial check. I was telling Kevin about this list thing and suggested that I write my thoughts in a letter because that will force me to look on the bright side. I swear, this is so unlike me to be so down that I might do this. Also, I need to write everything out and just let my thoughts flow out of my system. I worry too much! Ugh.

Cello. My long lost friend. Every time I leave my room, there you are, begging to be played. The smoothness of the bow pulled across the deep, melodic G string. Yup. Didn't happen. Tomorrow!

I did go to the gym on Thursday, though. It was a strength training day, so I'm still a little stiff. But it's a great feeling. I like!

And guess what? The rubric is DONE DONE DONE! Turns out, it wasn't as hard as I had imagined. After procrastinating for five days, it actually only took me an additional two hours to complete, format and polish. I might have done a little rubric dance when I sent the finished product to myself just in case the file crashes for some reason. So exciting! :D

In other news, I just saw For Love of the Game on TV without realizing that it's not just a baseball movie -- it's a ROMANTIC baseball movie. Movies should not sneak up on people like that! Can't believe I got semi-emotional over a baseball movie ... ew.

for Thursday/Friday

On to Thursday and Friday!

* think positive thoughts!

* cello! I need to play "May Song" at least three times through and not just half-assed. Actually play it to make it better. The slurring and the bowings are really hard, but seriously, must rise to the occasion.

* gym

* rubric (sigh)

Included Friday because, well, ya gotta be realistic here. :D

list for Wednesday

Somewhere in my apartment building, a smoke alarm has been blaring for (no joke) the last hour or so. Because it's summer, everyone's windows are open, so pretty much the whole block can hear it. Usually, the alarm stops within 30 minutes, so I wonder if it's coming from one of the vacant units.

Today has been a fairly good day. Practicing cello, while never really "fun," was definitely therapeutic and relaxing. It calmed me down. Cello, some afternoon CSI -- good stuff! A little "This American Life," a little "Meet the Press." :D

You can tell when summer vacation is ending and school is starting again by the inbox. I've been checking it every few weeks or so, but have amped it up in the last week. Today, three red flags popped up when there used to be none. Mail! Glorious mail! Discussed furniture arrangement for the classroom with my classroom roommate and potential tweaks to the way we teach the major religions. School is starting soon! Hooray!

On to Wednesday's list!

* the saga continues: finish and polish the rubric. Should I even bother putting this on the list anymore?

* sweep and mop. Here's the problem, it's too damn hot to do housework. I spent NINE HOURS last Wednesday cleaning out my closet and was completely gross at the end of the marathon because it was so hot in the apartment. I'm not sure if I'm up for even the lightest of housework.

* gym

* TRIVIA NIGHT with Whitney and Dave! I believe there will be sangria/drink before then. :D

Sometime this week, I'll have to bring myself to reread "Siddhartha" to refresh my memory.

---

Wednesday recap:

* the saga continues: finish and polish the rubric. Should I even bother putting this on the list anymore?

* sweep and mop. Here's the problem, it's too damn hot to do housework. I spent NINE HOURS last Wednesday cleaning out my closet and was completely gross at the end of the marathon because it was so hot in the apartment. I'm not sure if I'm up for even the lightest of housework.

* gym

* TRIVIA NIGHT with Whitney and Dave! I believe there will be sangria/drink before then. :D

It seems that I have been going to the gym consistently now. :) Trivia night was awesome, as usual. Some tricky questions that we should've gone with the simple answers but instead chose the less obvious. I think our team ended up somewhere in the middle, score-wise. It was a mixed-bag of a day. It started out great, but I felt a little down in the afternoon and went to the gym to distract myself. The night ended with trivia. :)

list for Tuesday

Monday didn't go well. It was a shit-tastic day. There was the physical problems (sick to stomach and lack of sleep) and the emotional turmoil that never really went away. For some reason, I just felt really glum today, even after I took a four-hour nap to make up my sleep debt. I think I just need to go back to school. Clearly, this summer vacation thing is not working out.

My anxiety and inner turmoil got bad enough for me to just leave the apartment and go for a drive. So from about 10:45 p.m. until about 12:45 a.m., I went from Brighton to Fenway/downtown (bad plan, the game just got out) to Cambridge/Memorial Drive. Then Lexington center and took Mass. Ave. all the way from Lexington to Harvard, took Storrow Drive on a roundabout way to get home via downtown/Fenway/Brookline. It felt great to sing out my frustrations in a car and to have a quiet moment to think and zone out. What I ended up with is a series of positive thoughts and what I am thankful for. Mostly, it's Christina and James for listening to my problems with patience, understanding and humor. During the drive, my mind drifted a lot of happy memories (yay!) that eased some of my insecurities and anxieties. Spinning class was exhilarating (read: I will be in pain tomorrow) -- it was a great combo of sequences and music! And c'mon! This morning, because I couldn't sleep, I got to see a beautiful sunrise (lavender, orange, blue) over the Charles River. Life can only be good when the day starts like that!

But, geez. This is so unlike me to be so glum for so long. Not to mention to be so anxious and insecure without real cause. I want the true me back! :(

On to Tuesday's list!

* continue with rubric assignment. Finish and polish.

* sweep and mop the room

* cello (I think even exercises like practicing my arm levels and scales will make everything better. Playing music makes everything better.)

* gym (either yoga at 5:15 or cardio whenever)

-----

Tuesday's list!

* continue with rubric assignment. Finish and polish.

* sweep and mop the room

* cello (I think even exercises like practicing my arm levels and scales will make everything better. Playing music makes everything better.)

* gym (either yoga at 5:15 or cardio whenever)

Clearly, procrastination is a bitch. On the bright side, cello did make things better. Therapeutic. I might even be up for a cello lesson in the next week or so. Gasp! I ended up doing yoga instead of cardio because I figured that I had spinning yesterday. I was kinda regretting it on the way to the gym, but turns out the yoga class was Level 2 Vinyasa yoga, so it was way intense. I don't remember the last time I had to stay in plank or downward facing dog or a lunge for so long. Felt a fantastic stretch toward the end with the pigeon, though. So great yoga today. :)

list for Monday

I'm feeling slightly sick to my stomach right now (about 10:30 a.m.). Not sure if it's the lack of sleep (couldn't make myself fall asleep last night. I hate it when that happens. Didn't actually fall asleep until around 6. Woke up at 9.) or if it's some subconscious emotional turmoil. I'm also a little frustrated and angry at myself, so ... anyway.

today's list:

* finish the rubric assignment

* sweep and mop the room

* spinning at 6:45 p.m. (Not sure if this will happen ... depending on how I feel later today)

* practice cello

----

For reasons I will explain in my next post, I got very little done today. I felt better enough by the evening to go to spinning class.

today's list:

* finish the rubric assignment

* sweep and mop the room

* spinning at 6:45 p.m. (Not sure if this will happen ... depending on how I feel later today)

* practice cello

list for Sunday

J. Christina and I are going to keep each other accountable for our daily goals.

So the rules are:
1. We both post our to-do lists either the night before or the day of.
2. At the end of each day, we'll repost the to-do lists with what we got done crossed out.

Here is my list for Sunday.

* start and finish rubric assignment

* sweep and mop the room

* yoga at 3 p.m.

* practice cello

---

Sunday recap:

* start and finish rubric assignment

* sweep and mop the room

* yoga at 3 p.m.

* practice cello

I am halfway done with my rubric assignment; it's harder than expected. Yoga was unfulfilling.

trying to be busy

There are three weeks left until the start of school, and I cannot be happier about it. Don't get me wrong, I love vacation, but I've had my fill of it by Week 3.

This is also the first summer since high school when I wasn't working in some capacity. Summer after high school, it was waiting tables at Applebee's. Every summer in college, it was newspaper internships. Summer after college, it was grad school and Ann Taylor. The one after that, Miami Herald. And the last summer, Boston Globe. So I've been gainfully employed every summer for the past few years. Except this year. And I am bored out of my gourd.

The first few weeks was fun. My body clock slowly adjusted to not waking up at 5:30 without an alarm. I checked my work e-mail once every few days in case something happens (see below). I read "Ethan Frome," which has been languishing on my Amazon reading list. I bought my second copy of "Twelfth Night" and am churning away at that. I had a fantastic cello lesson because I actually had time to practice all my pieces. As you can see, I have returned to blogging for myself, not just for my students.

I went home for two weeks, and that was when extreme boredom sets in. And as James and Christina can attest, it is no good when Julie is bored. In my two weeks at home, I baked a lot of blueberry and assorted blueberry-inspired pies. I read many a Wikipedia article, ranging from the tallest buildings in Boston to the Empire of Japan and the histories of China and Taiwan to members of the Tudor dynasty, when I started watching "The Tudors" on my Netflix Watch Instantly. Of course, I have also read random Wikipedia articles. I also went to my parent's gym daily. I have to say, it's weird to go to a coed gym when your gym is women-only. I feel a lot more self-conscious about even walking in the free-weights area and a lot of more conscious about how fast or how long I run. Random Urban Dictionary articles at 2 a.m. was a fun experience, too. SportsCenter (which seemed to always be on) and afternoon episodes of CSI and CSI: NY also sustained me. Part of the reason for the boredom, I think, is because my sister wasn't also home; she usually is when I am. So it was just me, mom and dad. Is this what it's like to be an only child? I am grateful to have a sibling. :) Love ya, Amez!

Since I've returned to Boston, things have been a lot better. I feel freer, but I am still bored. The increased gym participation continues. I returned to yoga class today for the first time in almost a year. I finished reading "Brick Lane" early Thursday morning, when I stayed up till 4:30 a.m.

Someone asked me on Monday what my life centers around. Maybe it's because we were just discussing my first unit of the school year, but my first reaction and what I said was, "My students. Because I would be bereft without them." Since then, the more I think about it, the more my answer troubles me. While it true that "school" does not seem like "work" to me, it is what I do for a living. So essentially, with my answer, I am saying that my life centers around my work, and I don't think that's true. And this is why it's important to point out how I spent my last summers because I am now realizing how important it is for me to keep busy. Even though I enjoy teaching and find it challenging every day, my friends and family are also important. Family, that's standard, but friendship, I value. I'm the kind of person who holds close friends near and dear. So the more I think about my answer, I think it's the wrong answer.

With three weeks left of summer, I actually have real work to do to prepare for the school year. I have to reread the students' summer reading so I can know what I am talking about (again). I am attending a summer workshop on the transition to high school life in a few weeks. And my department chair volunteered me to the take-home summer workshop on writing a rubric for a pre-existing subject-area assignment. I also need to revise the formatting and other basics of the freshman research project. And bone up on my India/Hinduism/Buddhism, which is the first unit.

So, I actually have work to do for the next three weeks. :) To-do list, coming right up!

cute skirt!

Bought a great skirt at Marshall's today after I now-nearly-daily trips to Borders at either Copley or Downtown Crossing because my apartment is just too damn hot. I bring my book (currently "Brick Lane" by Monica Ali, bought at the Boston Public Library's book sale on Saturday for $.50) and make myself comfortable in one of the couches. If Downtown Crossing, I get a great view from the second floor window of the statues in the little plaza below. It's great people watching when I take a break from the book. If Copley, I can sit at the coffee shop and read or snuggle in one of the couches, but no view.

Anyway, after Borders today, I went across the street to the Marshall's and found this cute skirt -- but I have no clue what to wear with it! You can't see it from the picture, but the top part is pale yellow with green and brown polka-dots. :)

summer saviour

I left my red desk fan in my filing cabinet at school and have been regretting it for about two days now. Problems solved with my silver-framed saviour. You can't see it, but the blades were definitely spinning. Life is so much better.

by request: bacon pineapple fried rice

My mom's recipe. By request from James. My mom makes this with Taiwanese sausages, which you can buy from basically any self-respecting Chinese grocery store.

Speaking of Asian grocery stores, the Super 88 Market in Allston/Brighton has officially lost my loyalty. I've noticed that starting with their renovation around last winter, its supplies has been dwindling significantly. We're talking about less and less selection of oils, brands of popular supplies (like soy sauce, for cryin' out loud) and just choice of basic necessities. The new store looks great, by the way, and I wasn't fazed when I couldn't find any New Year's cake on New Year's eve -- I mean, it's to be expected when one procrastinates. However, a few weeks ago, I went in search of two -- again, BASIC -- items: sesame oil and a 5 pound bag of rice. I left empty-handed. Why, you ask? Because there was no sesame oil to be bought, and only about five or six 25 pound bags of rice to be seen in the store's alcove of rice. Also since the renovation, Super 88 has drastically reduced the brands of dumplings they carry -- in fact, from about three or four different brands to just one. I have not returned to the market since. The food court, though, is still full of deliciousness.

After leaving frustrated and annoyed, I went to John's Market in Allston/Brighton and procured the necessary items plus awesome kimchi. The proprietor is super nice. :) He even gave me a free can of iced coffee (!), which I deperately needed after a long day at school. Does he do this for everyone? Or did I fake being Korean really well? Maybe he just recognized an awesome dudette when he saw one? I kid! :)

Back to the recipe. Again, Taiwanese sausage is best, but bacon will do. If you use the sausage, you might need to put in a little oil before adding the rice. If using the bacon, the fat rendered should be good. Off we go!

BACON PINEAPPLE FRIED RICE

ingredients:

* 1/2 package of bacon OR 1/2 package of Taiwanese sausage, sliced

* small can of chunky or crushed pineapples or 1/2 regular can, drained

* 1 cup of steamed white rice, best if on the dry side (but cooked through! none of the this crunchy-grain business. ew.)

* 1/2 diced onions, if desired

salt

pepper

procedure:

* in large frying pan, saute meat until fat is rendered and meat is slightly burned

* add pineapples (and onions) and cook for about a minute

* add rice and incorporate bacon/sausage and pineapples. It helps if you get the rice sit for a little while to soak in the grease (!) before flipping it around

* salt and pepper to taste

six pies for dad!

Dad loved my pies and requested more for upcoming breakfasts and snacks! So I made six pies, one to eat and five to freeze for later. Three blueberry/strawberry and three blueberry/strawberry/peach. Hope pies freeze well ... Pics!

This one is the blueberry/strawberry/peach. See the chunk of peace sticking out? I changed brands of pie crust this time -- Pillsbury (cheaper) -- but am not sure if I like it. One of the crust dough was already separated between the bottom and the sides.

The six pies! Left, the ones with peach. More golden brown this time. Figured out that I needed to take the foil/rice out of the pies and continue baking until golden brown. Also, the Pillsbury doesn't smell as good coming out of the oven as the Mrs. Smith.

my very first blueberry pie!

The family and I went blueberry picking on Saturday! It was pretty fantastic, if one overlooks the incredible heat and humidity in the fields. I've forgotten how nice people can be in the South. So Sunday was a pie-making day!

This basket was full when we got home. The other half is in the fridge.

Four cups of blueberries!

Pie crust ... courtesy of Mrs. Smith

lemon juice, sugar, corn starch.

boiling blueberries! I love it when they pop!

finished product ... so shiny

made one the next day with a nectarine.